8th anniversary

"To have and to hold, from this day forward, for better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part."

 

My anniversary is today.  My wife and I dug out the old wedding video and spent a wonderfully lazy day watching it.  Few things bring into focus the passage of time like an old video of yourself.  It was a reminder of the way things used to be.

 

My old friends, so mature and established now, just bubbling with youth and giddy energy.  The teenagers now were children - and the children were toddlers.  There were couples who are now divorced.  And a few dear friends who are no longer with us.

 

Several songs come to mind

"Unchained Melody" - http://www.weddingvendors.com/music/lyrics/r/righteous-brothers/unchained-melody/

"One of these days" - http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/neilyoung/oneofthesedays.html

"Sunrise, sunset" - http://www.lyricsondemand.com/soundtracks/f/fiddlerontherooflyrics/sunrisesunsetlyrics.html

 

But it is the wedding vow I am thinking about now.  I think I speak for most people when I say, when you get married, you really have no idea the breadth and depth of experience that these vows encompass.  It is a beautiful summation of a whole boatload of experience that you'll be experiencing as Captain and First Officer (which one is the Captain?  I'll take the 5th amendment).

 

In the 8 years we've been married, and 12 years we've been together, we have definitely seen our share of ups and downs.  The early NY days with the drunken roommates and the neighborhood drug dealer out front of our building.  The high days of discovering NY and all it had to offer.  Sharing the drunken nihilism post-9/11.  The Green Tortoise trip back.  Sharing an apartment managing job, squabbling over who has to do what.  Loads of patience on both our parts.  The first kid, who had us swaying in a state between euphoria, frustration, and exhaustion.  Many, many shared laughs.  Money woes.  Family woes.  The second kid approaching.

 

"For better or for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish; from this day forward until death do us part."  Who knew we'd hit all the aforementioned points?

 

I think it's natural to wonder about the roads untaken.  Sometimes I wonder about the life I would have led had I not met my wife.  I am a believer in chaos theory, and I don't think the answer is as linear as, say, "It's a wonderful life", where each effect was tied closely to a cause. 

 

Happily, the anecdote is usually an evening with my single friends, where I find out how much I'm not missing, and the phrase "there but the grace of God…" crops up in my thoughts repeatedly.

 

Truth is, I can't really imagine a life where I hadn't met my wife.  Having a partner gives your life definition and purpose.  Decisions made must be weighed and reasoned.  Drifting is not an option.

 

A fair question one might ask is "If you had it to do over again, knowing then what you know now, would you do it the same?"

 

My answer: In a heartbeat.

 

P.S.  And no, I'm not just saying that because my wife reads my blog too.  Happy anniversary my love.